Program & Services

Changing Family Roles

Family duties often change when a family member is disabled

Parents may need to take care of their disabled child for a very long time. A son or daughter may become the caretaker for a disabled parent. These role changes may be hard to accept. The roles change in some ways, but not in other ways. This can lead to confusion about what your role is.

The disabled family member may become the center of attention

A great deal of energy and attention is given to the disabled person. Other family members can feel left out. Chores must often be shifted to others. They may begin feeling resentful. Major changes can cause some family members to cut family ties. It can cause divorce.

Different family members will respond in different ways

There is no one correct or right response. Some family members will not be helpful at all. It's because they cannot cope with what is happening. Some people have reported that their families experience a new kind of closeness. Some people find strength that they never knew they had.

Tips for coping with role changes

In order to cope with your family's changing roles and duties you might try the following:

• Ask for help when you need it. Support groups can be important sources of help.
• Sit down with family members to ask what they are willing to do to help. Give them ideas about how they could be helpful. Do not assume that they "know" what you need.
• Assume that most people are doing the best they can.
• Know that you are dealing with a stressful situation. If you are having difficulty dealing with the stresses, it is not because you are not good enough.
• Schedule fun time for all family members. Make special time for everyone in the family.
• Keep all family members informed of the details of the disability and care.