Program & Services

What To Do When A Loved One Dies

It's not something we like to think about. It's not something we plan for. But we have to deal with it when it happens. What do we do when a loved one dies? What needs to be taken care of? What important decisions must you make? The loss of a friend or family member is always hard. These tips will help you get ready for what lies ahead. They will also help you handle everything you must do.

During the First Moments…

The first moments after death might be very hard. You want to see that your loved one's wishes are met. You also should see to your own needs. You might want to say goodbye before the body is taken away.

• It is ok to take your time with the body if your loved one dies at home. Call the doctor or 911. Medical workers will pronounce death. They will move the body to a hospital. They may take it to a morgue. They may take it to a funeral home.
• Tell a nurse or doctor if you are in a hospital. They will pronounce death. They will have the body moved. It may be harder to spend time alone with the body. Don't be afraid to speak up if you want time.

Making Medical Decisions

• Talk with the doctor about why your loved one died.
• Decide if an autopsy needs to be done. An autopsy is usually needed if there are questions about cause of death. The next of kin or a surviving spouse can ask for one. It may cost money.
• Decide whether any organs or tissues will be donated. Organ donation can be set before death. It can also be set at the time of death. Tissue donation can be approved after death.

Look Into Pre-Plans

Did your loved one already make plans for a funeral? Did they put their burial wishes in writing? You need to find the answers to the following questions:

• Is there a letter with contacts?
• Is there a letter telling you where to find important papers?
• Has a funeral home been picked?
• Has a cemetery been picked?
• Did they wish for a burial or cremation?
• What type of service did they want?
• Were any plans already paid for?

Contact a Funeral Home or Provider

You do not have to use a funeral home. It is very common in the United States. Experienced funeral directors can be very helpful. Cremation services can also be set. You can get local referrals. You can also use the following:

• Funeral Consumers Alliance at 1-800-765-0107
• Funeral Consumers Alliance at www.funerals.org
• National Directory of Cremation Providers at www.cremation.com

The following information about the deceased is needed for a death certificate:

• name
• home address
• telephone number
• How long have they lived in state
• gender
• race
• job information
• social security number
• veteran's administration claim number
• driver's license number
• passport number
• citizenship
• date of birth
• place of birth
• information about death
• name of parents
• parents birthplace
• membership in organizations
• marital status
• cause of death
• Autopsy performed
• survivors' names
• survivors' contact information

Handle Urgent Matters

You need to reach out to friends and family. You need to review your loved one's day-to-day situation.

• Tell Others
  This is a good way to get support. Share what needs to be done with those closest to you. Let people help you. It will help them deal with their own grief. Make a list of those that need to be told about the death.
• Take Care of Dependents
  Help to find care for any dependents.
• Deal With Property Matters
  Make sure that all bills are paid. Find care for any pets. Find someone to take care of the house. Have someone pick up the mail. Stop newspaper delivery. You may want to take anything worth a lot of money out of the house.
• Cancel Services
  Be sure to cancel any services such as meals-on-wheels, home health aides or volunteers. Find a calendar and cancel any appointments the deceased made before they died.
• Find Important Documents
  Find these as soon as possible:
  • will or living trust
  • birth certificate (or legal proof of age)
  • social security card
  • marriage license (and divorce papers)
  • citizenship papers
  • insurance policies (life, health & accident, automobile, property)
  • bank books
  • financial records
  • deeds
  • tiles to property
  • car title
  • car registration
  • income tax returns
  • income tax records
  • veterans discharge certificate
  • disability claims
  • cemetery plot
  • memorial park certificate

Make Funeral Plans

Funeral homes have different plans and services. Some funerals with a casket can cost from six thousand to ten thousand dollars. Most funeral providers suggest buying packages. Some laws say that funeral directors have to list out all information about their services.

Some decisions that need to be made about a service include:

• Who will pay for the service?
• What religious or family traditions should be followed?
• Will there be a burial or cremation?
• Will the body be embalmed? This is not a law.
• What clothing will the deceased be wearing in the casket?
• Should anything be buried with the body?
• Will the casket be open or closed?
• Will there be a viewing at the funeral home?
• Will there be calling hours at the funeral home?
• Will there be a funeral or memorial service? What will be involved?
• What should go into an obituary or paid death notice for local papers?
• Find out if there are any other publications which should get the obituary.
• Should flowers be encouraged?
• Should donations instead of flowers be encouraged? If donations, call the charity of choice to arrange details.
• What sort of special touches might you bring to any services? Consider music, art or photographs.
• What will you wear for the services?

For a copy of the free on-line publication "Funerals: A Consumer Guide," contact the Federal Trade Commission at www.ftc.gov or call 1-877-382-4357.

Complete Required Paperwork

You need to stay organized. Keep track of all the paperwork. Let someone else be in charge of keeping the records if you are not good with organization. Make a list of those who should get thank-you notes in the months ahead.

• Death Certificates
  The funeral director will usually get the death certificate. Get 10-25 certified copies of the death certificate for your use.
• The Will
  Contact either the executor named in the will or the attorney. Let them handle any legal matters. If there is no will, the process will depend on the state laws. The deceased's spouse, partner or a close family member should call an attorney. Go to the county courthouse to have an executor named.
• Social Security
  Social Security benefits information can be found at www.ssa.gov.
  • Let Social Security know of the death. Call 1-800-772-1213.
  • Stop any payments made to the bank with direct deposit. Do not cash any checks received for the month of death. Do not cash any checks you get after. Send any checks not cashed to Social Security.
  • A spouse or child can get a one-time payment to help cover funeral costs.
  • Spouses can apply for survivor's benefits.
  • A domestic partner should check state laws to see what you can get.

• In the days after a death:

• Veteran's Military Benefits
  Contact the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs at 1-800-827-1000 for information about financial assistance and burial services. You can also visit www.va.gov.
• Active Peace Officers & Military
  Contact local representatives for more benefits.
• Insurance Policies & Employer Benefits
  Check all insurance policies for any death benefits. Contact deceased's employer for:
  • life insurance
  • paychecks
  • retirement plans
  • pension
  • IRAs
  • stock options
  • continuing medical coverage for dependents
• Other Benefits
  Check for possible benefits for dependents through:
  • social or fraternal organizations
  • unions
  • mortgage companies
  • credit cards which offer life and accidental death insurance
  • frequent flyer programs which often allow transfer of mileage

Final To-Dos

Other important matters need to be taken care of.

• Contact Your Attorney
  Any assets and titles to vehicles and property must be legally transferred. This is usually done as part of the estate settlement. Do not pay any of the deceased's debts. Consult first with the estate executor or an attorney. The executor should file the necessary forms with the post office.

• Contact Your Accountant or Tax Advisor for:
  • filing taxes
  • putting together a budget
  • valuing assets
  • listing any debts
• Contact Your Bank
  Open individual checking and savings accounts in your name.
• Locate Deceased's Safe Deposit Box(es)
  Check individual state laws regarding access.
• Contact Insurance Agents
  Change policies and beneficiaries for all policies.
• Contact Credit Card Companies
  Cancel individual credit cards. Don't take the deceased's name from joint accounts for 6 months.
• Contact All Home Utilities
  Make sure all utilities are in your name.
• Update Your Will & Make Your Own Pre-Plans
  Use this time to update your own will regarding beneficiaries. Write a letter of intent about your wishes after death.

Selling a Home

The will should tell you what should happen to the house. That includes everything in the house. Going through everything may be painful. It can also bring back happy memories.

Keep in mind these tips:

• Ask someone to watch over the project.
• Separate all the tasks.
• Sort items into groups for charity, sale, family and friends.
• Contact charities to pick up all donated items.
• Sell valuables or antiques through an estate sale.
• Have a garage sale for fewer items worth less money.
• Think about using an online auction site if there are a small number of items.
• Hire someone to help if it is too much for you to handle.