Program & Services

Making Positive Choices in the Midst of Change

The event + the choices you make = the outcome. Possibly a simplistic equation, but the truth is events don't make us do things. Tornado alerts don't make us run to the basement. It's our choice. In fact, a meteorologist may choose to run outside to get a better look at the twister.

Learn where to take control and where to let go.

Sometimes we try to change something over which we have no control. Other times we don't take a stand. We don't make a choice when we have the ability to. You can be angry that it's raining (there's no controlling the weather) and angry that you're getting wet (your suit is getting ruined!), or you can choose to use an umbrella. Take control and make choices where you can, let go where you can't.

Resist "Victim Thinking."

• Victim at sea in a storm proclaims his or her choice, "I'm going to drown."
• A Survivor at sea in a storm says, "I don't know how, but somehow I'll survive." The Survivor has hope, but has left his or her fate in the hands of someone else.
• A Navigator at sea in a storm says, "I'm not in charge of the sea or the storm. But I am in charge of my boat. I know what I need to do." A Navigator has hope and a plan.

Positive thinking will steer you in the right direction.

Positive self-talk is a great way to sort through feelings and make honest statements to yourself about the change you are going through. It can also help you break through negativity and doubt that can stop you in your track. Positive self-talk can help you gain some control of the change you're going through. The following is an exercise that can help you become your own best navigator through change:

• Sometimes I find myself acting like a Victim. So I say to myself, "(your name), why are you acting like a victim?" I respond to myself, "I'm acting like a victim because there's no hope in this situation." I challenge myself, "Not even a possibility that something good can happen here?" "Oh, I suppose there is some chance something good will happen." "Good. You're a Survivor."
• Sometimes I find myself acting like a Survivor. I coach myself, "(your name), why are you acting like a survivor?" "I'm acting like a survivor because I will live with it and there isn't one thing I can do about it." I challenge, "You can't think of one thing you can do in this situation?" "Oh, I suppose I can think of one thing I can do." "Great! Now you are acting like a true Navigator!"

By using the simple equation above when faced with change, you'll be in control and well on your way to navigating to calmer waters.